Battle for Love Read online

  I couldn’t hold back the satisfied smile that twisted my lips.

  “You should wear a jacket,” I admonished, although I was grateful for the excuse to hold her closer.

  “I wear about five layers or more to classes. But I don’t like to wear a coat to the bar. I don’t want to lose it. I usually jump in and out of an Uber, so it’s not too bad.”

  I didn’t say it aloud, but I’d appreciated her more form-fitting dresses many times. I didn’t at all mind that she decided to forgo her multiple layers.

  We arrived at my car—a used black Corolla I’d bought in cash from a more unscrupulous dealer. I hadn’t wanted the purchase to be traced back to me. Every move I’d made since relocating to Cambridge had been calculated to cover my tracks. I even got paid cash under the table at the bar. The management was as loose with their employee reference requirements as they were with checking the legitimacy of IDs.

  I guided Ashlyn to the passenger side and opened the door for her, taking her hand as she slid into the seat. Unwilling to break physical contact so soon, I leaned in and buckled her seatbelt, allowing my hands to linger around her body for a few seconds longer than necessary.

  “I can get it,” she protested, but her breathing hitched.

  “You could,” I allowed, smirking with satisfaction. She hadn’t batted my hands away, and her protest had been husky with desire.

  I was definitely getting that goodnight kiss.

  “You sure you’re okay?” I asked when I got into the driver’s seat. I glanced over at her, and the streetlight caught in her lovely eyes, making them shine like gemstones.

  “What? Oh, yeah. The Stu thing. I’m fine.”

  Stu. I’d known for weeks that the asshole frat boy was interested in Ashlyn. I’d seen how he watched her, how he leaned in close when he talked to her. I hadn’t liked it, but she hadn’t been mine. I couldn’t stop other men from hitting on her when I had no claim over her.

  But when he put his hands on her, all that had changed. The violence that brewed within me—the savage nature I tried so hard to deny—had risen up with blinding force. It was all I could do to stop myself from smashing my fist into his nose and ruining his pretty-boy face.

  “Thanks,” she said. Her small hand covered mine. “You didn’t have to defend me like that.”

  “Yes, I did.” I couldn’t have stood back and watched him touch her. She was too pure and perfect for his taint.

  I turned my hand so our palms touched, and I laced my fingers through hers. Although her hand was so much smaller, it fit perfectly in my careful grip.

  “Where do you live?” I asked. “I’ll take you home.”

  “Towne Apartments. Thanks.”

  “You don’t have to keep thanking me. I’m happy to do it.”

  “Oh. Sorry.”

  One corner of my mouth ticked up. She really was adorable. “You don’t have to apologize, either.”

  Her hand tensed in mine, and I knew she was feeling awkward. I’d watched her often from across the bar, noticing how she’d stiffen with anxiety and fiddle with her fingernails when boys talked to her.

  I wasn’t a boy, and I certainly didn’t want to make her nervous.

  “Relax,” I urged. “You’re safe with me.”

  I heard her take a breath, and her fingers eased in mine. I put the car in drive and kept my hold on her as I drove the short distance to her apartment. It took less than ten minutes to get there. The silence that filled the car wasn’t uncomfortable; it was thick with sensual tension, and I didn’t dare break it with an inane question about her studies. Besides, I didn’t want her asking too many questions about my life. It was better this way: to indulge in my desire to touch her, to be close to her. After tonight, I could walk away and leave her in her safe, perfect world.

  But for now, I wasn’t going to leave her side until I was sure she wanted me to go. I’d never felt such a strong physical connection to any woman, and the long weeks of denial had only intensified the sensation. If we’d shared a quick fuck the night I first laid eyes on her, maybe I could’ve gotten her out of my system. As it was, I idolized her, making her into more than just another beautiful woman in my mind. She was the life I craved, everything I couldn’t have and didn’t deserve.

  This one night, I’d get a taste of what I so desperately wanted.

  Her. Ashlyn. I didn’t even know her last name, but it didn’t matter. I wouldn’t be able to stick around long enough to learn it. If I could spend tonight with her, I’d leave town in the morning. I’d worked hard to set up a new life for myself in Cambridge, but one night with her would justify leaving it all behind and trying again somewhere else.

  Because if I stayed close to her, I’d fall for her. Or at least, I’d fall for the idea of her I’d created in my mind. I couldn’t risk that. I couldn’t risk her by letting her into my fucked-up world.

  I parked outside her apartment complex and got out to open her car door for her. She was already halfway on her feet by the time I got to her, but I took her hand again, as though she needed my help. A stupid, naïve part of me was enjoying playing the part of her white knight. I’d protected her from Stu.

  I’d do my best to protect her from the darker parts of myself, too. I owed her at least that much.

  She didn’t pull her hand from mine when I closed the car door behind her.

  “I’ll walk you to your door,” I told her. I was going to see her safely into her apartment, and I was going to taste her lips before I left.

  She glanced up at me and licked those plush lips. My cock throbbed in response to her show of desire. Did she feel the same burning need for me that I felt for her?

  “Okay,” she agreed softly. “My place is this way.”

  She started walking toward the concrete sidewalk that lined the front of the fancy townhouses. I kept step beside her, still holding her hand in mine.

  We arrived at one of the twenty identical units, and she retrieved her keys from her purse. When she unlocked the door, I squeezed her fingers lightly, calling her full attention back to me. Her sapphire gaze caught mine, and her pouty lips parted on a little sigh.

  “Thanks for bringing me home. You didn’t have to—”

  “Yes, I did,” I interrupted her. I hadn’t had a choice. Not once Stu put his hands on her. I wouldn’t have been capable of working the rest of my shift at the bar. I wouldn’t have been capable of thinking about anything but branding her with my touch, erasing the taint where he’d grabbed her.

  Unable to hold back, I reached out and caressed her cheek, relishing the softness of her skin beneath my fingertips. She didn’t flinch away from the intimate contact; she tilted her face into my hand, welcoming more. I slid my fingers into her dark, silken hair and hooked my thumb beneath her jaw, capturing her. Her soft intake of breath went straight to my cock, and I closed the distance between us with a hungry growl. I didn’t take her lips with the tender care she deserved. I crushed my mouth to hers, and she opened for me on a sharp, shocked gasp.

  She didn’t shrink away from my sudden aggression. Her arms twined around the back of my neck, and she pulled me closer as she pressed her soft body up against mine. Lust ignited my system, pulsing through me with visceral intensity I’d never known before. My fingers tightened in her hair, tugging the silky strands and tipping her head back so I could take her mouth more deeply. My tongue swept inside to glide against hers. She tasted like her fruity cocktail she’d sipped at the bar and something darker, more delicious. Her body melted into mine, softening and heating as she molded herself against me. I wrapped one arm around her waist, pulling her impossibly closer. She shivered in my hold, but it wasn’t the chilly night air that elicited the response. The heat between us was too intense for the cold to touch either of us.

  When we were both desperate for air, I finally released her mouth. She stared up at me, breathing hard. Her pupils were dilated, the sapphire ring of her irises narrowing as her eyes darkened with lust.

&n
bsp; “Do you want to come inside?” she asked breathlessly.

  More than anything. Instead of making the intimate admission, I nodded.

  She turned from me and fumbled at the doorknob, her hand trembling from the lust that tormented us both. I reached around her and closed my fingers around hers, firmly turning the knob and pushing the door open. Now that I’d held her in my arms, I couldn’t wait to feel her lush body pressed up against mine again.

  When I pushed the door closed behind us, she took my hand in hers and led me toward her bedroom. I hadn’t expected such boldness from her, but the desire that drove both of us to a frenzy was stronger than the anxiety I’d sensed in her earlier.

  She closed her bedroom door behind us. I was curious to check out the way she chose to decorate her room—to understand her personality better. But in that moment, I was far more curious to learn other things about her. Like the sounds she’d make when I kissed her neck and caressed her breasts.

  I leaned in to take her lips again, but she pulled back slightly. In the dim lighting that illuminated the bedroom through the shades, I could see that she’d lowered her lashes in shyness.

  “I, um, I don’t want to have sex. Not tonight. I don’t want to give you the wrong impression,” she said quietly.

  Even though it made my balls ache to hear it, I wasn’t surprised. I’d been right to think Ashlyn was pure and innocent. She wasn’t the type to take a near-stranger home and fuck him. It only further endeared me to her. I found her refreshing, fascinating. I’d never met anyone like her. With my position within my family, I’d never wanted for women. They’d fallen into my bed; some thirsty for power, others wanting to flirt with the danger I posed.

  Ashlyn wasn’t aware of any of that, and yet she still wanted me. Her desire for me was untainted by ulterior motives. We were both simply surrendering to the scorching chemistry between us.

  I curled two fingers beneath her chin and lifted her face to mine.

  “No sex,” I agreed. “I wouldn’t have hoped for anything more than a goodnight kiss. Thank you for trusting me and inviting me in.”

  Before her shyness could return, I captured her lips again. Her soft moan made my cock throb, and I savored the way the little sound vibrated against my tongue as I stroked into her mouth. Never releasing her, I moved toward the shadowed outline of her bed and guided her down onto her back. I settled my weight over her on instinct, craving to feel her small body pinned beneath mine.

  She stiffened for a moment, and I knew she must feel overpowered, trapped.

  My cock jerked again, but I pulled my lips from hers so I could reassure her.

  “I’m not going to do anything you’re not comfortable with,” I promised her. “If you want me to stop—or even leave—just say the word. You’re in control here.”

  Those last words felt wrong on my tongue. I wanted to dominate her, to hear her beg and whimper my name. But I would never violate an unwilling woman, and I certainly wouldn’t subject Ashlyn to those darker fantasies.

  She licked her plush lips and gave me a little nod, letting me know she wanted me to continue.

  “Good girl,” I rumbled without thinking. It felt right to praise her this way, to guide and encourage her to release the more sensual side of herself.

  I leaned in and kissed her neck in the little hollow beneath her ear. She gasped and shuddered, and I licked at her sensitive skin, tasting her sweet flavor and relishing her every panting breath. She arched up into me, her breasts pressing against my chest as her short fingernails bit into the back of my neck. She drew me closer, silently begging for more.

  I growled against her and nipped at her shoulder. She let out a soft cry. Despite the desire in the sound, I reined myself in. I couldn’t mark her with my teeth as I wanted to. I wouldn’t mar the smooth perfection of her skin with my bite.

  She’s not mine to mark, I reminded myself. I might have her in my arms for tonight, but she’d never be mine.

  No matter how fucking perfect she felt pressed up against me.

  Aching to explore her curves, I reached between us and cupped her breast. I could feel her peaked nipple through her dress, and I knew she wasn’t wearing a bra. I groaned into her mouth, loving the shape and feel of her lush body. Her moan mingled with my sound of pleasure, and she thrust her chest up into my touch.

  I played with her like that for a long time, learning her body and her sensual triggers. She writhed and moaned beneath me, clinging to me as I teased her and tasted her. I wanted to know everything about her. I wanted to know how hot and silky smooth her pussy would be if I touched her there. I could practically smell her desire, and I knew she was wet and welcoming.

  Not tonight, I told myself. I’d promised her I wouldn’t push for sex. I’d honor the trust she’d shown me.

  “Please,” she said on a throaty groan. “Please, Joseph.” She rocked her hips against my thigh, seeking stimulation.

  The sound of her husky voice caressing my name as she begged for my touch cracked some of my resolve.

  “You want to come, angel?” I asked, using the endearment without realizing.

  “I… I need…” She was too shy to ask for what she wanted.

  “I have to hear you say it. I need your permission.”

  I need to hear you beg. I need to hear the dirty words falling from your sweet lips.

  “Please, touch me.”

  I eased one hand beneath the hem of her dress, gliding my palm up her thigh. Her skin was even softer than I’d imagined, and I bit back a growl of desire as my dick throbbed.

  When I reached her wet heat, I teased my fingers along the edge of her lace panties.

  “Touch you, where?” I prompted. “Here?” I brushed my thumb across her clit through the barrier of the lace, and she cried out.

  “Yes!”

  “Say it,” I commanded, unable to hold back my more domineering nature now that I had her squirming and begging. “Ask me to touch your pretty pussy.”

  She hesitated, her embarrassment creeping back. I found her innocence delicious, but I found corrupting that innocence even more appealing.

  I withdrew my hand, silently communicating that she wouldn’t get the reward she wanted until she obeyed.

  “Wait! Please, Joseph. Please touch my…”

  I waited, refusing to cave until she gave me what I wanted.

  “Please touch my pussy.” It was barely more than a whisper, but the words went straight to my head, intoxicating me with power that was even headier than my physical desire for her.

  I took her lips again, my chest rumbling with pleasure as I dipped my fingers beneath her panties. She was just as hot and silky soft as I’d hoped: wet and ready for me. I longed to get inside her, to fuck her and brand her with my own heat.

  But I’d made a promise, and I’d never violate her trust.

  I circled her clit with my thumb, teasing around it. Even the light touch elicited a harsh shout from her, and I caught the sound of her pleasure on my tongue. All it took was a direct, firm touch to her clit, and she came undone. She tensed beneath me, and her fingers curled into my upper arms as she clung on tight. She screamed out her ecstasy, and I smothered the sound with a rough, possessive kiss.

  I stroked her for a few seconds longer, withdrawing my touch when she began to shudder beneath me. She would be sensitive after such a powerful orgasm, and I didn’t want to torment her. Not this first time, anyway.

  I finally released her lips, and she stared up at me, breathing hard. She reached between us, and her fingers brushed my rock-hard cock through my jeans.

  I swallowed a curse and grasped her wrist, directed her touch away from my aching dick.

  “No,” I refused. “Not tonight.”

  “But what about you?”

  “I’ll be okay,” I promised, although my gut was knotted with tension. I didn’t want her to do anything she’d regret in the morning. I never wanted her to regret spending this night with me.

  “Come
here,” I urged, rolling off her and positioning myself on my side. I pulled her body against mine, and she tucked her face into my neck with a contented little sigh. The sound eased some of the knots in my stomach, and my lust subsided a little.

  I kissed the top of her head, and she began to breathe deeply, falling quickly into sleep after her orgasm.

  I lay awake for a long time after, relishing the feel of her in my arms. I was still hard for her when I finally fell asleep beside her.

  I woke up before Ashlyn the following morning. I knew I should leave. I should go to my shithole apartment, get my few belongings, and get out of Cambridge.

  I should leave her behind.

  But then she opened her lovely eyes, and I knew I couldn’t.

  I brushed a stray lock of dark hair back from her cheek, and she smiled shyly as she blinked up at me.

  “Hi,” she said, her voice raspy from sleep. The husky tone went straight to my cock, and I took a breath to suppress my lust.

  A crooked smile curved my lips. “Hi. Sleep well?”

  She breathed in a happy sigh and pressed her cheek against my chest. “Wonderfully, thanks.” She wrapped her arms around me and snuggled in, as though she couldn’t stop clinging to me.

  I knew the feeling. I held her closer, relishing her soft, floral scent.

  She hooked her leg over my hip, and my cock got rock hard. I gritted my teeth and forced myself to pull away from her.

  “I have to go,” I told her, pain in each forced word.

  Her eyes clouded, confusion and a touch of hurt darkening their blue depths.

  “Oh. Will I see you later?” Some of her shyness returned, softening her words to little more than a whisper.

  “Of course,” I heard myself say before I could stop myself. When she looked at me like that—needy and achingly vulnerable—I couldn’t refuse her. I couldn’t bring myself to hurt her.

  And truthfully, I didn’t want to bear the pain of leaving her.

  I pressed a kiss against her forehead. If I couldn’t do the honorable thing and leave her alone, I’d at least treat her like she deserved. “I’ll take you out to dinner. I’ll pick you up tonight.”