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  His finger teased across my dark entrance, sending a strange, foreign shot of ecstasy through me. I wasn’t sure if it was the forbidden nature of his touch or the physical sensation that caused the moan of desire to leave my chest.

  “I’ll prepare you for my cock,” he continued roughly. “I’m going to plug you.” His finger pressed through the tight ring of muscles, sending pleasure sizzling through me. “Your pussy will be so tight when I fuck you while you have a plug in your ass.” He pushed deeper, entering me mercilessly, until he was fully seated inside me. “You want to come, don’t you? My kinky girl likes everything I do to her. You want all of it. Tell me.” He removed his fingers from my mouth.

  “Yes! I want you, Javier. Please…” I groaned and writhed beneath him, pulling mindlessly against my restraints as my body sought release.

  “Come for me. Be my good, obedient girl and come for me.”

  His fingers pumped into my pussy and ass. I didn’t even recognize my raw cry as I convulsed around him. My body shuddered and twisted as I came completely undone. There was nothing in the world but Javier. I was powerless to resist him; he had taken complete ownership of my body and mind. And I willingly surrendered everything to him.

  I screamed out his name as I shattered under his hands.

  Chapter 18

  I set my laptop down on the bedside table with a sigh. It had taken me a few hours, but I had emailed all my professors to tell them I was out sick. I then sent a facebook message to Rachel. I didn’t exactly apologize for what had happened between us – I wasn’t entirely certain I had done anything wrong – but I did express a desire to see her when I was “feeling better.” Finally, Derek received a text from me reassuring him that I was okay and staying with Javier. I neglected to mention the shootout I had been caught up in just the day before. Big brother didn’t need to know about that.

  Again, I found myself wondering how long it would be before I could return to class. Javier had insisted I stay in the apartment until the Kings were all united. After the altercation with Los Demonios, I understood his concerns.

  But every time I wondered about going back to school, I inevitably realized that my relationship with Javier had an expiration date; he had told me our marriage would be over as soon as “everything was finished.” As much as I wanted to return to my life away from the violent Latin Kings, I no longer wanted to leave Javier. But I couldn’t have one without the other; Javier was part of the Kings, and being with him meant being trapped in this shitty underworld that I had worked so hard to escape.

  Resolutely, I shoved aside my worries about the future. Living in the moment had worked for me for the past two years, and it would get me through this as well. I would just enjoy my time with Javier and face whatever came next when I had no other choice.

  My mind turned to how he had fucked me after saying such dirty, kinky things to me. He had kept me tied up and blindfolded. The sensation of total abandon I found in his strange brand of lovemaking was far headier than anything I ever could have imagined. I was eager to experience more. And now I had nothing but time to do just that. So long as I was confined to the apartment, Javier was my whole world. That didn’t bother me the way it once had.

  I glanced at the clock. It was nearly five. He would be home any minute. My pussy grew wet in Pavlovian response to the idea of his nearness. A wicked idea coming to me, I skipped to the bathroom and applied light makeup before stripping off all my clothes. I had only just flopped back down on the bed when the apartment door unlocked.

  “Charlotte?” He called out.

  “I’m in here,” my voice was low and throaty. I hadn’t even tried to sound seductive; just the knowledge that he was about to ravage me was enough to coat my tone in lust. Feeling daringly wanton, I propped up on my elbows, arching my back and spreading my legs.

  He paused in the doorway, his eyes widening in surprise. I could feel a Cheshire cat grin spreading across my face, and the audible snap of his teeth as he closed his hanging jaw was immensely gratifying. Then his expression turned stern, and my smile wavered.

  “Come here,” he ordered evenly.

  I hesitated, worried I had upset him somehow. “Javier, I-”

  “Come here. Now.” He pointed to a spot on the floor just in front of him.

  I was on my feet and across the room in an instant, coming to a stop where he had indicated. I became acutely aware of the fact that I was only inches from his large body, and he towered over me. My head tilted back so I could meet his enigmatic eyes. I fought back the urge to shift under his scrutiny.

  “I’m not angry,” he reassured me. “I want to teach you to greet me properly.”

  “What do you mean?” Did he disapprove of my nakedness? My arms crossed over my chest in an effort to cover myself.

  His hands caught my wrists, directing my arms back to my sides. “Don’t hide your body from your Dom.”

  My Dom. If I had any doubts that Javier wanted a BDSM relationship with me – which were few after his treatment of my body the night before – they vanished in that moment.

  His grip shifted from my wrists to my elbows, gently guiding me down. “I want you on your knees.”

  Even as I sank down to the floor, uncertainty swirled within me. He had mentioned blowjobs, but I was pretty inexperienced in that area. I had only ever given a handful, and most of those had been fumbling, drunken hookups.

  “I, um… I haven’t done this many times,” I admitted nervously. I wanted to please him the way he had pleasured me, but I worried I wasn’t skilled enough.

  He touched two fingers beneath my chin, lifting my face so I was looking up into his eyes. I had thought he was powerful before, but now his strength pulsed down over me.

  “I don’t want that from you. Not yet.” He applied more pressure beneath my jaw, urging me upward. My back straightened and arched. “Push your shoulders back. Let me see your beautiful breasts.”

  My cheeks burned as I became acutely aware of his eyes on my body. When I had splayed myself out on the bed, I had been posing as a temptress, but now he was directing me to show my body to him as he wished.

  He brushed my hair back over my shoulders with his free hand, further exposing me.

  “Spread your knees.” Feeling more self-conscious than ever, I eased my knees apart. When I stopped, he just looked at me with mild disapproval. “Wider. Show me your pussy.”

  I took a deep breath and focused on the man I recognized as my protector; his long-lashed eyes, the sharp lines of his cheekbones, his full lips. But even more alluring than his handsome features was that aura of power that surrounded him. I let it wash over me, sinking into it until my niggling concerns about my modesty melted away. I had given up control to Javier. I had sworn to obey him. For as long as we had together, I would give him everything.

  My knees slid apart until I felt cool air caress my heated, slick sex. He kept me fixed in his dark stare, and the approval I found in it awoke a warm glow in my chest. My lips turned up at the corners, and he smiled at me softly.

  “Very good,” he praised. “Place your hands on your knees, palms up.”

  I complied with ease, positioning myself as he had commanded. His grip on my chin shifted, no longer directing my gaze upward, but tilting my head down so that I was looking at the toes of his boots.

  “Keep your shoulders back,” he corrected me.

  I quickly straightened my back and returned to the form he had shown me. His touch left my chin, and his hand brushed over the top of my head, his fingers working through my hair.

  “Perfect, muñequita.” His voice had taken on that deeper quality that made it seem to resonate through my bones. I was again struck by a sense of peace that was not only mine, but his as well. Just as I found release in his control over me, all the tension seemed to leave him when I surrendered to him.

  “This is how I want you to greet me. Can you do this for me?”

  He was asking, not demanding. He wanted my consen
t.

  “Yes,” I breathed. I would happily greet him like this every day if it brought me this strange new mixture of relaxation and arousal.

  His low groan was accompanied by the sound of his fly being unzipped. My eyes flew to his crotch in time to see him pull free his impressive cock. Looking at it this closely, I could hardly believe I had taken it inside me. Surely it was too big to fit.

  He stroked up and down the hard length of it, and a bead of moisture appeared at the head.

  “Do you know how I’ve ached these last months, dreaming of fucking your mouth?” I remembered his dirty words, recalled the feel of his fingers filling my mouth. My lips parted in anticipation.

  “Do you like seeing what you do to me?” He asked roughly. “Look how hard you make me.”

  I couldn’t stop looking. I stared in rapt fascination. The idea that this perfect man got so turned on by the sight of me on my knees sent gratification and arousal surging through me. Without a thought, I leaned forward and flicked my tongue across his slit, tasting his salty pre-cum.

  He hissed in a breath, and his hand fisted in my hair, tugging me back. I blinked up at him, startled at his reaction. His face was tight with strain.

  “I control this, Charlotte.” His voice was harsh, but not with anger. “Open for me.”

  My lips popped open, and my eyes riveted on his cock again, waiting to watch him enter me.

  “Look up at me,” he ordered. My eyes snapped to his. “I don’t want you to think about what you’re doing. You will do as I say, and nothing more. Keep your eyes on mine. I want to watch you while I fuck your mouth.”

  I shivered and sank a little deeper into his control, falling into the dark pools of his eyes. I didn’t have to worry about my oral skills; I didn’t have to worry about disappointing him. He would tell me exactly what he wanted from me. All I had to do was trust him not to take more than I could give.

  As I stared up into his fiercely lustful eyes, the rest of the world faded away. I again was gripped by the sense that Javier was everything that mattered.

  “Clasp your hands behind your back.”

  I obeyed without a thought. I barely recognized that I waited there on my knees with my mouth open. All that registered was the fact that Javier was about to take pleasure in my body, and I wanted nothing more than to give it to him.

  Keeping one hand in my hair, Javier gripped his shaft in the other and guided it to my mouth. I closed my lips around him as he entered me in a slow slide. The silky feel of him against my tongue was even more erotic than I had imagined. My clit pulsed as my own desire rolled through me. It wasn’t selfish, needy desire, simply bliss in response to the obvious pleasure he was finding in my body.

  The head of his cock neared the back of my throat, and I couldn’t help gagging. He pulled back slowly, and I sucked at him as he withdrew. He let out a grunt of satisfaction.

  “That’s it. Use your tongue.”

  Compliantly, I swirled my tongue around his head and pressed the flat of it against the underside of his cock as he slid back in.

  “Relax,” he ordered as he neared the back of my throat again. “You can take me.”

  I did my best to obey, and this time he made it back further before my throat convulsed. He relented, beginning to penetrate my mouth in shallower thrusts. I continued to taste him with my tongue, loving the feel of his hardness filling me. The knowledge that I was capable of arousing him in this way only added to the satisfaction I found in giving him my mouth.

  As I became accustomed to his steady rhythm, he began to push a little deeper with each thrust. Both hands tangled in my hair, holding my head in place so he could enter me at the angle he wanted.

  “Swallow,” he ground out as he hit the back of my throat. I did as he commanded, and this time I didn’t gag. He groaned, and his fingers fisted in my hair. Little tingles of pain lit up my scalp, sending sparks dancing through my core as he found his pleasure in me. He came down my throat in hot streams, and I swallowed down every drop he gave me. I had never much cared for swallowing, but there was something deliciously erotic about taking Javier’s cum.

  He held me there for a few seconds longer, until he began to soften in my mouth. I licked at him as he pulled out, and he shuddered. The knowledge of my effect on him only sent me flying higher. The pleasure that filled me wasn’t orgasmic, but it was somehow even more intimate. I shared a bond with him that was more than physical ecstasy.

  He grasped my waist and lifted me to my feet. His languid smile as he settled himself down on the bed beside me warmed my heart. I tucked my head beneath his chin, snuggling into his shoulder. I didn’t want to break contact with him for even one second. Whatever had blossomed between us, I never wanted it to end.

  Letting out a contented sigh, he began to idly trail his fingers up and down my spine. The sweet gesture kept me in that relaxed state he had brought me to. I trusted him. He had wanted nothing more than to take care of me from the very beginning. I could see that now. Lying in his arms like this, I felt cherished, protected. Possessed. And I wanted nothing more than to belong to him if it meant this feeling would last forever.

  “I never thought I would have this again,” he rumbled.

  A memory stirred. “I told myself I was done with all that.”

  “You mean BDSM?” I asked tentatively. I sensed I was approaching a painful subject, but I wanted desperately to understand this dark side of him better. He seemed… complete when he was dominating me. Why would he have given that up when it was so obviously an essential part of him?

  His hand paused on my back, but after a moment, he resumed stroking me.

  “Yes,” he said softly. “I gave up on it.”

  I shifted so I could look into his face. As I had suspected, the lines around his eyes betrayed his pain.

  “Who hurt you?” I pressed gently.

  “My ex-wife.” His lips twisted downward. “I told you how she betrayed me, how she took our daughter from me. She was the one who introduced me to BDSM, and then she used it against me.”

  “How?” I asked when his eyes turned inward, brooding.

  His gaze honed in on me again, tethering him to me, keeping him in the present. Some of the tension in his muscles eased. “She cheated on me. She fell in love with another man. When I came home one day and found him in our bed with her, I… I lost it. He ended up in the hospital. Maria demanded a divorce, and she threatened to use our BDSM relationship to say I was abusive. Given what I had done to her lover, the cops wouldn’t have had a hard time believing her. She said if I didn’t want to end up in jail for domestic violence, I would leave Miami and give her the divorce she wanted.” His jaw ticked. “I haven’t seen my daughter since then. It’s been almost two years.”

  “I’m so sorry, Javi,” I whispered. What else was there to say? What the woman had done to him was horrible. I could understand why he had found a new family with the Latin Kings after she tore his life apart and stole his only family from him. I still didn’t like his choice to join the Kings, but I could understand it.

  It struck me how remarkable it was that Javier was able to try this kind of relationship again with me after what he had been through. I had marveled at my trust in him, but it seemed he had placed equal faith in me.

  “Thank you for trusting me,” I murmured.

  The last of the pain melted from his features, and he smiled at me softly. He tenderly cupped my cheek and brushed his thumb over my lips.

  “You’re so pure and perfect, Charlotte. How could I resist trusting you? I’m powerless when it comes to you.” His smile turned lopsided, some of his cockiness returning. It hit me square in the chest.

  “I would never describe you as powerless,” I said breathily.

  His expression turned earnest. “Wouldn’t you? That’s how I felt before I found you. My life was spinning out of control. You reminded me there was still goodness in the world. Protecting that goodness gave me a purpose again. It’s selfish, but
I want to keep you, Charlotte. I want – I need you to be mine.”

  I pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’m already yours. And I need you, too.”

  He rolled atop me, his hardening cock pressing into my belly. “You see what you do to me?” He growled. “I might be in control, but I am powerless when it comes to you.”

  Emotion I had never known swelled within me. Unfamiliar words teased at the tip of my tongue, but I was too scared to let them out. I was terrified of what they would mean. Javier had made it clear that our relationship was impermanent, and giving voice to the nearly overwhelming feelings stirring inside me would make me more vulnerable than ever. It took all my determination to hold them back. Still, they played across my mind.

  I love you, Javier.

  Chapter 19

  Over the next week, my time became divided into “Javier” and “not-Javier.” During the day, I would try to keep up with my schoolwork, watching taped lectures online and completing assignments as best I could. As soon as Javi came home, I would slip into that sweet place where I surrendered everything to him. All the worries that niggled in the back of my mind while he was gone – his involvement with the Latin Kings, him working with my father, the impending end of our relationship – were washed away when I entered that blissful state I could only find through his control. It was so much easier to forget about the future when I was in his arms, submitting to him.

  Our sexual dynamic was rapidly developing in ways I had never before imagined. We had thoroughly covered the art of bondage, and Javier was working on what he called my “form training.” He was always so pleased when I greeted him naked and on my knees. The sight of his proud smile fulfilled a need in me that I had never really acknowledged.

  Although my eyes were downcast, as he had instructed me, I could still feel his satisfaction pulsing down on me. But there was something different about his stance today. He was more tense than usual. Acting on instinct, I leaned into him and pressed my cheek against his thigh in a show of silent support. He let out a long sigh, and his hand began to work through my hair. He enjoyed touching me, petting me. It seemed to soothe him. I reveled in the physical contact and the emotional fulfillment I found in our connection.